where is the line…

…between backbiting and warning people?  If the warning is done with bad manners and in bad taste, but there is some actual useful information in it?

How would you react if you heard that a scholar you admired publically beat his wife?  Do you try to confirm this by seeking out the person who says they saw it, or do you brush it aside?  And then how do you approach the scholar after this?  Take the good from him and leave the bad?


In other, happier news, I’ve been doing very well with my salat alhamdulilah.  As isha creeps later, I’ve started to go to sleep after maghrib and have AbuSqueakster wake me up when he goes to bed around midnight to pray isha.  I think some new medication I’m taking is wreaking havoc on my ability to fall asleep though, as I’ve been tossing and turning for quite awhile before I finally manage to drift off.  I’m tiiiiiiiired.

Also doing well with my foundation expansion alhamdulilah.  Granted, I’m only on day 3, but I’ve not turned on the television when I got home and instead spent time with Squeaky and AbuSqueakster, cleaned (my stove is clean!) and read 10 minutes of Qur’an.  Alhamdulilah.


5 thoughts on “where is the line…

  1. With the scenario you presented, I would probably brush it off. First, I would assume the best about the person who came to me with the information, that they were trying to warn me. Second, I would think that if this is a known scholar, an incident like this would also be known. If it ate at me enough, I might investigate it to get to the truth and to go back to the first person so this scholar’s reputation would not continue to be tarnished unjustly.

    As far as taking knowledge, I would probably take the good and leave the bad, unless I verified something really egregious had occurred that I knew I wouldn’t be able to get past. There isn’t a shortage of good scholars, so if I sincerely believed he was doing bad things, it would probably be time to look elsewhere.

  2. Hmmm. . . good question about the scholar. I think verification would be the first way to go. Gossip flys waaaaaays too easily. If the story turns out to be reliable, the next thing would be to look for the scholar’s reaction. If he gets angry and tries to defend what he did or denys it flat out or labels the originator of the story a lunatic, leave him. If he’s repentant and admits that he shouldn’t have done it and it goes against his faith, then I wouldn’t be quick to ignore him.

  3. JazakAllah khair for your responses. I’m not really in a position to find out more about this, so I guess for now, I’ll just make excuses for my brother.

    Too bad we’re not all like Muhammad (saws).

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