Dear new neighbor next door:
I’m so glad that you are enjoying your new apartment. I can really tell – after all, why else would you be playing Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” at 3 a.m. from your balcony? While smoking?
In case you hadn’t realized, your balcony is right next to a window. My bedroom window. That I like to keep open at night for fresh air. And, btw, even when that window is closed, I can still clearly hear any and all conversations and music played on aforementioned balcony.
Did the visit from the police last week not clue you in that the balcony might not be the best place to have a late night party?
Please see that this situation does not happen again, lest I do you grievous bodily harm (and who knows what I’m capable of at 3 am?).
ps – just in case anyone is worried, i will in fact not do anyone grievous bodily harm. It’s just what I fantasize about.