10 signs of good etiquette

from a letter by Sh. Zulfiqar Ahmad Naqshbandi Mujaddidi

  1. Meeting people with a cheerful attitude
  2. Empathizing with others
  3. Helping those in dire need
  4. Not obstructing people’s good actions and intentions
  5. Not speaking ill of people nor picking out and spreading faults of people
  6. Noting one’s own faults and others’ good
  7. Treating kindly those who wrong you
  8. Accepting the apology of someone who has wronged you
  9. Choosing moderation in everything
  10. Staying away from worthless pursuits

The gist of the above is to neither cause harm to others nor to cause them pain.  Remember that there is no return once milk has spoiled, nor can a jewel be put back together once broken.

Hadrat Junayd al-Baghdadi (ra) used to say that he preferred the company of a wrongdoer who had good etiquette over an alim who had bad etiquette.  This is why I say that neither the Creator nor His creation is pleased with someone who has bad etiquette.


2 thoughts on “10 signs of good etiquette

  1. Thank you so much for this! An excellent reminder.

    I’m reading through the list and realizing that I don’t embody most of these signs. But the list works well as a motivation for change especially when you add an actionable verb to the beginning of each one. So now I can strive to MEET people with a cheerful attitude, EMPATHIZE with others and HELP those in dire need etc.

    Thank you again for sharing this.

  2. I think 9 times out of 10, we will fall short, but what is important is that we realize our failures, make tawbah and continue forward, always aware of our potential failings.

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