wanderlust

ll that is gold does not glitter,

Not all who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king

I’m tired now. Literally exhausted. I’ve always been a “tired” kind of person, but each day seems worse than the one before it. Doctors don’t know what is wrong. Nothing is off in my blood work. Nothing is wrong with my thyroid. I exercise, and generally eat healthily. Eventually, I’ll go in for a sleep study, when I have a free minute to spare. But for now I’m tired. I don’t even have the energy to read anymore.

My blogging days began as a way to record the interesting things I found in my online wanderings. Over time, my own thoughts began to appear, followed by recipes, and yes, many many pictures of Squeaky. What little energy and brain power I have left is used up at work, leaving me nothing to use in blogging. As such, it’s lain essentially dormant for months.

But my online wanderlust has not abated. For some reason, while picking up a novel is daunting, I seem to have no trouble meandering around the internet. So here I am on tumblr. I hope that this format will allow me to put something online, connect with people in some way. If I have no energy left to compose a post, I can dash off a quick thought, or share a picture of video easily.

http://umms.tumblr.com/

tyranny

And O my people, give full measure and weight in justice and do not deprive the people of their due and do not commit abuse on the earth, spreading corruption.

11:85

Take care of the responsibilities in your life.  Do not neglect the rights of others.  If you have authority over anyone, follow the example of our beloved (saws) and see that they get what is owed to them

No one is beyond Allah (swt)’s wrath.  Especially not those with power.

what keeps me sane

where’s my bail out?

30

Long time no post.  The trial that I’ve been working on for 2 years and that has been consuming my life for the last few months has finally begun.  I’ll probably be going down to Chicago next week to assist.

Today I turn 30 and I’m having a third of a life crisis (inshAllah I can hope that Allah [swt] grants me 60 more years).  We celebrated my Grandma’s 90th birthday this last weekend.  I was a late birthday present for her – 1 day after her 60th, I came into this world.

More than a hundred people came by to wish her well.  I can only pray that in 60 years, I am still happy and healthy, and that I have so many people that love me.  And, I hope that I am still worshiping Allah [swt] and striving to follow the path He gave our beloved Messenger [saws].

My third of a life crisis is many fold.  I’ve been a muslim for more than a decade – nearly my entire adult life.  And yet, I’m stunted in my spiritual growth.  I need to stop and rework my plans deen wise.

I need to get back on track with healthy eating.  I started some new medication that I think is causing me to gain weight.  And I’m not eating nearly as well as I have in the past.  That happens when you work 80 hours a week.

I need to exercise.  I haven’t been to the gym in 2 months.  I want to start running again, and run a marathon before I turn 40.

Once I lose weight, inshaAllah, I want to start to dress “nicer.”  These days, I look like a dumpy, chubby shlub who wears hijab.  Not the best dawah.

I want to become a socializer at my cat shelter, to help timid and feral cats become kitties that anyone would love to take home.

I want to spend more time with my cat.  Squeaky is desperately lonely without me.  And I miss her terribly.  This picture is from last Friday, when we finally had some time together outside.  Even when I get home at midnight, she still runs to the front door, thinking we’ll be going outside.  I hate to disappoint her.

I want to learn how to thread my sewing machine.  And sew sew sew so I can make costumes.

I want to develop patience to make more complex cross stitch.  I stitched my brother a Firefly piece for his birthday, and he really liked it.  Picture forthcoming inshaAllah.

I want to become a better cook.  I love to cook, and again, haven’t had any time to do that in recent months.

I want to spend time outdoors.  I used to camp and backpack.  I want to do that again.  Nature is a huge sign of Allah [swt], and I want to be there to see it all.  See that picture?  It makes me say subhanAllah!

Yes, there is a lot that I want in my life.  Oh Allah [swt], give me the life, the energy, the strength and the time to accomplish what is best in my life.  Ameen.

this is totally me and squeaky

Once again, I’ve gone radio silent.  Trial starts next Friday, so needless to say, I’ll be working all day, every day until at least then.

I did get to get home before maghrib yesterday, which allowed Her Royal Fuzziness and I to spend some quality time outside (her favorite activity).  It just so happened that the neighbor’s indoor/outdoor kitty was hanging around our apartment building.  Squeaky has not shown much interest (ok no interest) in other kitties, but I thought, why not try to introduce them?  Yeah, no she’d rather munch on grass than meet a fellow feline.  Poor poor neighbor kitty was very disappointed that Squeaky wasn’t interested in getting acquainted.  S/he would meow pitifully, and follow a safe distance behind as HRF did her usually walking/eating tour of the yard.  When I picked Squeaky up and forced her to look at the other cat, she’d try to wriggle out of my arms to go back to grass eating.

So Squeaky’s heirarchy of needs:

1. Grass
2. Food
3. Water with an ice cub
4. A window with a view and a fuzzy bed
5. Her mommy
6. Her laser pointer
7. Her crinkle balls

….

And waaaaaay down the list at #100, is feline companionship.  Bah!  Perhaps if she were in a less grass filled environment, she’d be more interested in a play mate/feline cuddle buddy

eid saeed

Except I have no new clothes for eid.  I had intended to go to Target over my lunch hour on Monday and get a spiffy sun dress to wear.  Except I worked through it.  So then I thought I’d go after work.  Except I worked through it.  Yes, dear readers, it is 4:30 a.m. and I am still working.  I had small breaks for salat and for iftar, but other than that, I’m aiming for 24 hours straight.

Alhamdulilah though, I impressed our client, which is key to keeping and gaining business.  Alhamdulilah.

I hope your Eids are happy and blessed.

very close to a work related melt down

that is all

brain dump

I was suppose to be making itikaf today.  But instead, I am at work.  On Saturday.  Again.  The to do list before trial only seems to grow, no matter how late I stay and how much I accomplish.

But alhamdulilah.  I need to be grateful.  I have a job.  I get paid overtime.  And people seem to think I’m competent enough to trust me with these projects.  Alhamdulilah.

Once again, the end of Ramadan draws near and I have not accomplished what I had intended.  Bah.  Trying to make the most out of these last few days leaves me sad.  I pray that Allah (swt) will allow me another Ramadan.

It is State Fair time in Minnesota.  And we live right across from it.  Which means our parking lot is crammed with fairgoers.  AbuS had to shimmy the car out so we could go to an iftar last night.  We told the parking lot guy that we needed better access to get out today.

State fair means our normally quiet neighborhood is brimming with people.  Squeaky and I went out yesterday for her usual brush/grass nomming.  I had thought all the people and cars would distract her, but no, her heart is in her stomach.  She chowed down and only occasionally glanced up and sniffed at the interlopers who would call kitty!

The state fair also means noise long past UmmS’ normal bedtime.  We could hear whatever band was on when we got home from the masjid last night at 10:30.  Then fireworks at 11.  And this will continue until September 5th!

But alhamdulilah.  The bus to work is only a little behind.  And we are going to the fair for Eid!  Well, not exactly eid (since I HAVE) to work, but on September 2nd, iA.  I hope to attend the taping of an NPR program I love, fawn over some adorable baby animals, check out cows (I come from a long line of Dairy Farmers) and see sewing demonstrations and enjoy some koshari.

And that takes me to the end of my break.  Back to work.  Alhamdulilah.  Alhamdulilah.  Alhamdulilah.

let’s make this a week of squeaky, shall we?

Didn’t seem my kitty until 10:30 pm last night, and then had to go right to bed.  Only got 5 minutes of lap time with her this morning before I had to run out to work.